War Games

The soldiers huddle around the desk, their shoulders brushing against one another as all eyes scan the plans scattered in front of them, a single lamp as their only source of light.

“Tell me gently, Sergeant, what’s the damage?” asks the Chief, slumping back onto a chair, rubbing her eyes in deep frustration.

The Sargent pulls his eyes off the papers strewn across the desk. “They’ve invaded Zone One.”, he says, begrudgingly crossing the zone off the map with a red marker. “We’ve been able to hold them off from making any more progress, but they’re outnumbering us. We need more men down there fast.”

“Any updates on our supplies?”

“We’ve stocked up as much as we can.” Says the soldier manning the door, clutching his weapon, “The Jones Twins are down there as we speak. I’m confident that they’ll bring us good news from their mission.”

“Has anyone heard from Corporal Matthew?”

“Not since his injury. We fear they’ve taken him hostage.”

“Damn. Do we have a rescue mission?” 

“We don’t have the capacity.”, says the Sergeant, “We could send Private Katie whilst she’s on guard in Zone Four–”

“That’s too risky.” The soldier chimes in, “If they’ve already made movement across the battlefield, we need everyone on their toes.”

“What do you think, Chief?” 

The Chief gets to her feet and begins pacing the room, rubbing her chin in deep concentration. The other soldiers in the room watch her intently, waiting for orders. Finally, she comes to a stop. “I think,” She begins with a deep, defeated sigh, “We’re going to have to call a–”

Before she can finish, someone bursts through the door, engulfing the room in light. Everyone grabs their weapons in a flash, ready to attack. “Hold your fire!” Shouts the Chief, holding her hand out to the soldiers around the desk. Everyone’s eyes adjust to the light as they slowly begin to recognise who it is.

“Corporal Matthew!” Exclaims the Sergeant, “We thought we lost you!”

Matthew grins, “That’s what they thought, too. The fools fell right into my trap.” He says, “And it was worth all the risks…” The soldier pulls something out from behind his back and holds it up in the air victoriously. The room gasps, “…The ultimate weapon.”

“Where did you find it?”

Matthew gives a mischievous smirk, “The exclusion zone.”

The Chief jumps up, “We’re not allowed there, Corporal, it’s out of bounds!”

Matthew crosses his arms. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

The Sergeant intervenes before they can argue further, “Chief, please, this is exactly what we need to carry us to victory!”

The Chief stares at him for a moment, weighing out the odds, the risks, and possible sacrifices. Finally, she nods and looks around the room.

“OK, troops, grab your pillows. We’re going in!”

A burst of adrenaline surges through the soldiers as they grab their pillows, cushions, and soft toys and head out of Chief Ellie’s bedroom.

“It’s memory foam,” Matthew explains, letting the other soldiers examine the pillow as they exit his sister’s room, “This baby will pack quite a punch!”

“How’s your injury?” Sergeant Jack asks.

Matthew holds up a finger wrapped in polka dot plaster, “I think I’ll survive.”

The rules of the fight are simple. Two teams battle it out throughout the house (except the conservatory because Mum doesn’t want any broken windows). If you get hit by a pillow, you’re out.

So far, Team Blue, whose base is in Ellie’s bedroom, has been struggling to get down the stairs. Team Red, whose base is outside on the climbing frame, has already made it inside and taken over the dining room.

Meanwhile, Private Katie stands at the top of the landing, clutching her pillow and teddy bear, peaking around the banister at intervals. She managed to take out one of the Reds who made a run for the stairs, and it seems like that’s been enough to make them retreat… For now.

She lets out a small yelp when the bedroom door opens and the rest of Team Blue spills out onto the landing. “So, what’s the plan?” She asks in a hushed whisper, “Things have gone quiet down there since Billy did a Leeroy Jenkins.”

Ellie moves to the front of the group, beckoning them all to crouch as Matthew quietly closes the bedroom door behind them. “This is it, folks, the finale. We’re going to go in for a surprise attack. Private Tyler, you’ll go first and stop at the bottom of the stairs. Katie, you next, then Jack, and me. Matthew, you wait up here with the secret weapon.” The team gives a single nod in unison. “Oh, and watch out for the third step, it squeaks.”

Tyler shuffles to the front of the stairs through whispered “Good lucks” and pats on the back. Peering through the gaps of the banister, he can see the open-plan living room and kitchen dining room. The Jones Twins, the identical brothers in Ellie’s class at school, are seeking refuge behind the red sofa, stocking up on scatter cushions. However, their final teammate, Colin, Katie’s curly-haired little brother, seems to be helping himself to a Hobnob in the kitchen. “Coast seems to be clear.” He says, taking his first step, then another, edging his way down the steps.

After successfully passing the creaking stair, he gives the thumbs up, as Katie begins to make her way down.

One by one, the rest of the Blue Team successfully take their positions on the stairs. “What do you see?” Calls Ellie from the fifth step.

Tyler peers around the banister to get a good view of the room. “Some Reds are camping under the dining room table. They’ve not seen us yet,” he reports, “They managed to take out Soldier Colin whilst he was helping himself to a custard cream, though, but I think he only came over for the snacks anyway.”

Ellie rolls her eyes. “I say we join the Jones Twins on the sofa, stock up, then we go in for the attack.”

“What if they see us?” Asks Jack.

“Then we retreat to the top of the stairs.”

“Sounds like a plan. OK, Tyler, you first.”

Tyler gives a nod and takes another scan of the room. He holds his breath, then makes a beeline for the sofa, which sits a couple of meters away. Success. Once he’s in place with the twins, he beckons over Katie, who also manages to arrive safely.

The Red Team, huddled between the chairs of the dining room table, checks over their shoulders now and then before going back to their battle plan laid out across the tiled floor. Their main lookout, Billy, got taken out by Katie.

It’s Ellie’s turn to go. Brushing her hair out of her face and tightening her grip on her pillow, she leaps into the living room. She’s midway there when suddenly there’s a loud…

…CREEEAAAK…

Feet frozen in place, she whips around to look behind her, “Matthew!” She cries, “You idiot! I said watch out for the third step!” But it’s too late. The Red Team is already pouring out from under the table, pillows poised to attack.

Ellie dives behind the sofa as a pillow flies past her head. It lands by the front door. One of the Jones Twins, still on a mission to stock up, makes a dart for it, but before Jack can stop them, a striped cushion makes contact. “No!” Cries Jack. “Chief, what do we do?”

“Attack!” Yells Ellie, throwing one of her butterfly cushions across the room to the table. It lands just short of the Red Team’s Chief, Emily – her best friend.

Within seconds, cushions, pillows, soft toys, and, at one point, a shoe, are flying back and forth across the room. Matthew and Jack are still stranded behind the stairs as the rest of Team Blue battle it out from the sofa. Tyler, who successfully managed to take out a Red who was trying to do a sneak attack, is about to retrieve his pillow when another Red pops up out from behind the kitchen bar and smacks a pink teddy bear down on his head.

Katie screams as Tyler lets out a sad “Aw man…” and leaves the battlefield. Before she can gather her thoughts, the Red soldier is onto her, raising their teddy high in the air. She manages to block their attack with her pillow from Ellie’s room. The two are locked in a battle of strength when Katie makes a sudden roll to the side, knocking the enemy soldier to the floor and taking them out with a final blow to the back.

On the other side of the sofa, Jack manages to sneak from the stairs to the coffee table, grabbing a scatter cushion from the armchair just in time as a small plushy dog flies in his direction. Ellie is shouting orders to Katie, whilst Matthew remains hidden behind the banister. 

“I think they’re winning!” Says Jack glumly, as the remaining Jones Twin leaves the battle after receiving a pillow to the face from Emily. “There are only four of us left, and six of them!”

“Don’t be such a Debbie Downer!” Hisses Ellie, as they both duck behind the sofa to dodge a pillow hurtling towards them, “We have the better protection, plus we can still retreat upstairs if we need to!”

“Are you sure about that?” A menacing voice says behind them. It’s a Red. Pillow raised high in the air. “Victory is-”

SMACK

The boy falls to the floor. Revealing Matthew behind him, leaning against the banister with a smug grin on his face, the secret weapon tucked under his armpit. The Red Team member gets to his feet, “Ow! That hurt, Matthew!” He sobs, running off to the conservatory, where the rest of the fallen soldiers reside.

“You can thank me later.” Matthew gloats.

Katie, who has just impressively dodged a flying toy cat, glances over at her three remaining teammates. “Look out!” she shouts, as two of the Red Team charge across the room, violently swinging their pillows. Matthew spins around, memory foam pillow in hand, just in time as he smacks both soldiers across the face in one foul swoop.

Both girls run away, clutching their cheeks.

“We’re winning!” Shouts Ellie, as the four of them retreat to the safety of the sofa. “I have a plan. You three deal with Bengy and Angus. Leave Sophie to me.”

“Are you sure you can handle her, Chief?” Katie asks, a worried look on her face.

“Don’t you worry about me.” Says Ellie, bravely, “This war has to come to an end one way or another.”

“There’s only one way it will end.” Matthew says, “With us on top!”

“Here, here!” They shout together.

Ellie takes a deep breath, “OK, on the count of three, you invade the dining room, I mean, Zone One.” The soldiers nod, grabbing any pillow or cushion within reach.

“One. Two. Thre-”

Before the Blues can even get to their feet, the memory foam pillow is snatched out of Matthew’s hand from behind him, “Hey!” he shouts.

“I think this has gone far enough!” Matthew and Ellie’s Mum says sternly, towering over them, “I’ve had three lots of tears now. If you can’t play nicely, then you can’t play at all!” She glares at them before examining the memory foam pillow, “Wait a minute, this is mine! Which one of you has been in my bedroom?”

“Matthew,” They all say in unison, pointing to Matthew, who slumps back, the colour draining from his face.

“Right, that’s it.” Mum snaps, “No more pillow fights.”

There’s a synchronized “Awwww” Across the room as the boys and girls from both teams peer out from behind tables and chairs, all red in the face and panting after an hour or so of battle.

“Idiot,” Ellie mumbles at Matthew as they both clean up the battlefield.

“You’re an idiot.” Matthew muffles back, “Next time, I’m the Chief.”